Every mirror shows us something. If we look into it, do we see ourselves?
Mirrors don’t show us who we are. We never see ourselves in the mirror. All we see are reflections. Of ourselves. But they are not us.
Our reflections differ from us, in ways. Sometimes they are more grotesque than we are. Sometimes they are more beautiful.
Sometimes, it does not look like our own at all.
But it is.
Every point on us sends a beam of rays to the mirror, and the mirror takes them and sends them back to us. Only it does not do it in exactly the same way.
It may inflate some beams, and deflate others. It may twist the proportions and balance, so that what comes back at us is not a human we know, but a hulk.
Human beings are creatures of hate. We have grown along lines of hate. One of the weakest creatures on the planet otherwise, we could only have grown strong with the cohesive cautiousness that is xenophobia, and the paranoid self-preserving instinct of hatred. Without something to hate, we can’t function. Without some enemy to smash, we can’t give meaning to our existence.
We tell ourselves that we need one another. Ironically, it might be true in quite a different way than we imagine. Maybe we need one another because without an other, we would run out of things to hate.
There are people who spread the message of universal acceptance. They urge us to be indulgent and respectful of novelties and rarities – to give equal validity to all individualities, no matter what they are.
And as a commandment of acceptance, they lay down a list of things we can never do.
The irony is not lost on us. The same heart that harbours Cain, also shelters the Christ.
We hate. We love. But even when we love, we hate those who don’t do our kind of love. We hate those who don’t align with us. We preach love for the other, and we otherize those who don’t listen to our preaching. And out of the darkness, the mirrors glint and laugh.
One of the most fundamental of human emotions is disgust. It has been in here since before we were humans. It helped us avoid the rotten meat. It helped us stay clear of befouled water. It helped us not eat poisonous berries. When we were lost in the wilderness and our senses were exploring, disgust was our firewall. It was the antivirus database where our genetic memory uploaded the details of what kills us, and what helps us survive.
We can never rid ourselves of disgust. Being free of disgust is like our cells being free of their selectively permeable membrane. If it happens, we would die.
So even when we embrace catholicity, we push away from those who don’t embrace it like we do. Always, in our quest for a common ground for love, we find a common ground for hate. Our insistence on similarities inevitably erect differences.
You hate me because I don’t love the way you do. It is okay, this is the way it always is meant to be. The person you hate is not you; it is your reflection. And you are mine.
The most permanent of enemies we have — that stay with us no matter how much we try to do away with them — are reflections that are our own. Faces that look like us, and speak with our voice. We make friends with some of these reflections, the ones that we like. The others, we fight.
We fight the reflection that is all about hate. It won’t go away. We may try to change ourselves any way we like, upgrade our means, elevate our skills— whatever we do, it will do the same. If I become a lover, it will become a hater of non-lovers. If I become a receiver, it will become a rejector of non-receivers. If I become the kindest person in the world, it will become the cruelest of forces to those who are not as kind as I am.
My hate is not my love. It is a reflection of it.
We can fight this hate. We do, most of us. But this is one fight we will never win. We cannot. It is not allowed by the rules of the game itself.
There is only one thing in that case. That is to keep fighting. No, we will never rise as pure lovers. No, we will never get rid of our hate.
The day we look upon the face of our neighbour and think, This is myself, — the hate will still be there. It will speak up again.
And till death do us part, we will need to keep fighting.
We hate. We love. But even when we love, we hate those who don’t do our kind of love. We hate those who don’t align with us. We preach love for the other, and we otherize those who don’t listen to our preaching. And out of the darkness, the mirrors glint and laugh.
As I kept reading, I felt the urge to disagree, some of the statements sounded rigid and absolute, I wanted to attack them for the lack of flexibility but then it dawned upon me I have to be flexible with my requirement of statements being flexible, my new found awareness made me accept your rigidity ( Which need not be rigid, it might just be my perception)
Once I accepted this, this article made much sense. The thing about disgust sustaining life is so important, but nowhere I feel this article promotes disgust, it just reveals the futility of fighting disgust. Again there are many disgust, you have to figure out which disgusted this article talks about.
The mind plays many tricks, and the trickiest ones it plays on itself.
I got reminded of a story. A boy lived with his father and mother. His father used to beat him and he hated him for that. He loved his Mom who was caring. Once he was beaten black and blue by his father and he escaped away. one day he had to be back as his mother had died. He did not cry much. This shocked people. But when his father died he cried a lot. His hatred for his father gave his life a meaning a purpose, after his death, he lost that one thing which gave his life purpose and he did not know what next his life meant.
Reading this reminded me of how modern India was forged in the heat of hate for the British. Now that the British have left…